another side of me

Monday, March 13, 2006

a relationship is all about trust.
had a good chat with the rugby guys today. i was the only girl around so i pretty much kept quiet and listen to whatever they hafta say. like i do most of the time. just listen. im glad they didnt hold much back becos of my presence cos they have nothing to worry about. i will never let anything out. and i hope the people there trust me not to. i learnt more about guys. in the way they treat girls or more of how they will treat their girlfriends. i knew it was never easy to make a girl happy but through this talk i see things from the guys' point of view.
it was a chill relax talk session. but people do get affected by what others say. like my baby.
i could feel it. just that i never said it out. til he walked me home and everything surfaced. im glad we could talk it out. but somehow i dont think i've gotten everything outta my heart cos it still feels heavy. i need baby to trust me more. who said gaining trust is easy. baby. have more confidence in yourself please. i really need you to do that.
know that im no ordinary girl. im your girlfriend. you matter to me.
i have more feelings than happy sad angry frustrated bla bla bla.
just that sometimes i dont even know what im feeling to tell. if only you could feel what i feel. then maybe you'll understand better and it will be made clear.
and its really important to me about how you feel. please tell me. dont keep quiet. its so cruel to me. i just hate it. and its so difficult to keep quiet continue to hold your hand and pretend theres really nothing. we can work it out. i believe so.
just be yourself. i love you for who you are.
who needs some caucasian guy who drives a bmw and whatever else he's got. i've got you. and thats all that matters.
trust. a small word but yet it means so much and takes so much for it to happen.

baby stayed over for the past two nights. so sweet of him to accompany me for ntu touch on sunday. had to wake up real early. i didnt fix breakfast for him like i said i would. traveled all the way to boon lay. watch games for hours while waiting for me to end. thanks baby.
watched vcd until we both fell asleep.
i appreciate everything you've done. and having you by my side when i sleep.

ntu touch.
i had to wear haha's jersey. cos i couldnt find mine. searched the whole house. tried to recall if i lend it to anybody. no clues. thought i really lost it. but its with luu. any oh how i fitted into haha's jersey which is like one size smaller than mine. feel so uncomfortable in it cos its tight fitting and goes up when i run. and touch involves lotsa running. imagine all the attention and whistles i got from my fellow team mates. thanks to the ntu touch top. i dont know what i would have done without it.

alvin poh called me. crap. i didnt needa hear his voice at all. call himself a careperson. that title doesnt suit him at all. care my foot. all he does is put me down. discourage. thanks but no thanks.

crying isnt all easy anymore.
i've got no idea why.
where have all my tears gone to.