another side of me

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

MY BOYFRIEND SUCKS BIG TIME !!!
PERIOD.

Monday, May 29, 2006

today is a shitty day.
baby fell sick.
he has diarrhea and a flu.
im so damn worried alright.
must be the dinner.
im so sorry.

i called to check how he was feeling.
what do you mean why?
im just showing that i care.
i didnt need that.
that wasnt how i wanted the conversation to be.
i even sacrificed my time to talk instead of studying for my quiz.

so much going through my mind right now.
school's over.
much earlier than its supposed to be for today.
holding back my tears all day.
im so glad im home.
cos im really tired.
tired emotionally.
need to hear from someone so badly.
but til now all i got were msgs i didnt need in the morning when it all happened.
and hanging up on me just made me feel better. lots lots better.
thanks but no thanks.

im so damn tired that i dont even know if i wanna gym with luu later on anymore.
i dont know if i wanna see him.
he doesnt know that seeing him means a great deal.
and that it makes everything alright.
even when i've told him a million times.

thanks lorencia.
for trying to cheer me up.
for all the laughter.
and the smiles i didnt hafta fake.

it hurts inside.
im tired of holding the tears back.
tired of putting on a brave front.
im not so tough after all.
i just need you.

today's trip to malaysia was good.
better than the previous time cos someone was there.
thats a great difference to me.
i enjoyed myself especially in the car.
cos i could really spend time with him.
im really really glad he came along.
though he had to go through quite alot today.
haha.
but it was real brave of him.
at least everything turned out alright.
dinner too.

went shopping and i didnt get anything.
let me repeat that.
i didnt get anything.
oh but thinking.
i actually bought rubber band.
oh well.
okay.
but compared to the other trips.
i didnt spend as much.

on our way back.
we actually didnt get our passports stamped and white cards collected at the malaysia custom.
mummy freaked out.
but the person at the custom just signalled us to go.
oh well.
mummy is still worried.

i wished there would be a traffic jam.
so i could spend more time with him.
and it did.
i gotta fall asleep in his arms like i always love to.
and having him by my side all day long was just great.

thank you baby.

Friday, May 26, 2006

school is over for the week.
stuff that happened are such.
watched video of dogs being disected.
heart pain.
had our last training on thursday.
haha didnt let me off easily.
got all muddy just like monday.
ccn day today but still had tutorial at two.
boring.
i passed hpi and biochem quiz.
to pass biochem is a shocker.
the laptop crashed. had to be reformatted.
sad.
cos all my pictures are gone.
irritating.

today was hilarious.
lorencia cheng chong natalie and i were hanging out in the library.
in a corner.
we tried to turn on the music attached to the table.
there was nothing.
so thinking perhaps the volume was too soft.
i kept pressing on the volume up button. but to no avail.
we concluded that it was spoilt.
we sat there for quite some time and i decided to go look for a book.
as i was browsing through music suddenly started playing.
loudly.
i knew it was coming from our table.
i laughed like an idiot.
i tried to get hold of myself but i couldnt.
so i laughed my way back to the table.
everybody else was staring at us.
we sure didnt need the extra attention.
the four of us just couldnt stop laughing.
it was hilarious. with capital letters.
we tried every way to stop the music.
pressing.
banging.
more pressing and banging.
but none of the buttons work.
we gave up and decided to walk away from our embarrassment.
even though it wasnt techno or rock music.
thank goodness.
the somewhat classical music had climax.
and it was loud loud loud.
our most embarrassing day in school i must say.
i laughed til my tummy ached.
funny shit.

got something sweet from baby today.
thank you.
i cherish my days with you too.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

yeah.
i sure love the mud.
haha.

i enjoyed hanging out with maby baby and jiemin today.
had fun.
its been a long time and we're gonna continue with this weekly routine.

thanks for the belated belated birthday present jiemin!
haha.

i dont know whats wrong with me.

im just a walking contradiction.
sometimes i dont even know what i really want.
and sometimes i dont know what comes over me.

i know that things dont always turn out the way i want them to be.
i dont get to hear the stuff i want to hear all the time.
oh well.
this is life.
i gotta learn to accept such stuff.
there are things i dont understand.
and im not even gonna try to understand.
expectations.
i try not to expect.
but deep down inside im hoping.
in the end.
it just boils down to being disappointed.
time and time again.

just a thought.
nothing much.
im fine.
= )

good night world.

Friday, May 19, 2006

finally. finally.
school's over for the week.
so are all the quizzes.
was so damn tired today.
went to school only to discover there's no apel at eight.
cos nobody informed the outcasts.
crap.
i could have used another hour of sleep.
slacked for an hour with lorencia.
i was dead.
grumpy.
and whiny.
cos i was tired.
i needed sleep.
needed rest.
but it was four hours of lessons before break.
and after break came the quizzes.
which im sure i will fail.
i skipped an hour of lecture cos i couldnt take it anymore. and was having a headache.

thanks for spending time with me baby.

had steamboat for dinner.
glad i didnt overeat.
running tomorrow!

im just so glad this week is over.
no more school.
i've got two days of break over the weekend before school starts again.
im looking forward to the weekends.
to spending time with baby.

i know i cant possibly see you all the time.
and that i'll miss you real bad.
but i'll try my best to get used to it.
my very very best.
but i'll always be looking forward to the next time i see you.
and til then.
i'll be missing you.
you'll always be on my mind.
love you.

i needa sleep early.
i will sleep early.
good night world.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

yesterday.
school was off for me.
so i stayed home.
to study.
can you believe that?!
sacrificed a trip to malaysia with mummy just to study.
but i didnt start til about three plus.
but at least i did study alil.

today wasnt a day for school.
felt so tired.
dragged myself to every lesson.
and besides i wasnt feeling too good about something either.
but everything's fine now.
: )

mgen lab ended super early so i hung out with supi and the rest at itas til it was time for hpi tutorial.
had hpi quiz today.
i finished it in fifteen minutes!
it was a forty five minutes quiz.
im so proud of myself.
haha.
i ended early and so did baby.
just right. we could both meet without having to wait.

came home after training and saw a red thing lying in the middle of the hallway.
what's that?!
mummy said daddy lay red carpet to welcome me home.
haha.
daddy's always bringing funny stuff home.
first the doggies. now the red thing. its not even a carpet.
more like a mat.
its huge.
haha.

this week been a hectic week.
lotsa quizzes.
but its thursday already.
the term is passing so damn fast.
in a few weeks time will be term test.
and after that comes term break.
cool.

seriously.
did time grow wings?

something is wrong with the internet connection.
pissing me off.
signal strength is always low or very low.
sometimes it even gets disconnected.
whats wrong man.
it didnt use to be like that.
whatever.

love baby lots lots lots.
somebody is hot today.
hee.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

photos from the day of smu touch.

on the way.

not there yet.

we're finally here. a candid shot. and everyone seems busy.
the last seen of my shoebag.

luu and me. in the rain.

seriousness.

smiles. the team. with coach hershey.

me and luu. love this picture.

all smiles.

towards the end. and we're still smiling.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

i love today.
i love shimona day.
thanks baby.
i really enjoyed my time with you.

im really not depressed!
its just my face.
sad.
attitude.
now depressed.
just great.
im really not.
dont worry.
im alright.
im happy.
and love life just the way it is now.
theres nothing more i can ask for.
so be assured that theres nothing wrong with me.

oh man.
baby. you're sucha sweetheart.
thanks for the boots and the shoebag. and the kisses that came with them.
i love you so so much.
please stop skipping lessons.
thanks for all the sacrifices.
im speechless.
everybody's singing praises of you.
im so glad i got you.
i feel so lucky to have you.
thanks a million.
i love you.
lots.

Saturday, May 13, 2006

woke up with baby beside me this morning.
after spending a day with him yesterday.
wish i could spend more time with him.
but i had smu touch today.
so gotta set off early from home.

time with him always seem to pass so fast.
why. why. why.

smu touch was draggy.
the moment we reached there it started to pour.
its sucha lousy place.
no proper shelter and not even a portable toilet in sight.
limited water supply too.
our game didnt start til two plus.
we waited so so long that we became lethargic.
four games today.
won one.
got thrashed in one.
lost one.
drew one.
we came in third.
it wasnt that bad considering we played against clubs.
had to work on a few stuff.
aisyah thinks im a fast runner.
wow. thats a first.
im never considered fast.
so i'll take that as an encouragement to train my speed.
she also said she likes me. she likes the way i play.
hee.
thank you. thank you.
but i think i didnt perform in the games.
the fields were so damn muddy. becos of the heavy rain.
running was so difficult.
many falls and trips.
somebody even lost her boot in the mud.
thats how bad it was.
my thighs are hurting.
think im gonna have muscleache tomorrow.
actually they are starting to ache already.
its a good thing.
means i've worked them today.

i left my shoebag behind!!!!
so sad.
i only realised that after cleaning up and preparing to cab back home.
but the journey back to the field was to long dark and freaky that i decided to forget it.
my shoebag contains my socks and my boots.
sob sob.
although my boots are a gone case already.
i didnt wanna get rid of them this way.
my shoebag!
i want it back!
i really hate losing stuff.

it was getting late.
i didnt wanna keep baby waiting especially since its for dinner.
so i met him straight without going home.
i was prepared for a sunny day. with tanning oil and just an extra top.
cos theres no where to shower there anyways.
but the rain made a mess outta all of us.
we had mud all over.
so i went to tampines mall with a pair of shorts full of mud.
how disgusting was that.
got myself a pair of new fbt to change.

baby bought me a pair of new boots.
aww.
stupid.
still bluff me. said he bought shoebag for me when actually he bought the boots.
still wanna lie about not getting me anything.
silly baby.
thanks alot.
love you.

thanks for staying til so late.
im missing you already.

im tired.
guess its gonna be an early night for me.
good night world.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

its the simple things that say the most.
really.
cos simple things like asking hows someone doing and doing lil favors and giving gifts to someone every now and then and assuring them that they're on your mind shows how much we care and how much people really mean to us.
simple things are done and said outta the heart.
not obliged.
and simple things can help brighten someone's day.
even without us knowing.
simple things we do for others need not be showy or done on purpose to get attention.
or else the motive would be wrong.
there shouldnt even be a motive.
cos towards someone you love and care for. there should never be a motive.
the reason you do things for them is simply becos you love them and you want them to feel loved.
all other things really doesnt matter as long as the simple things are done.
cos people really do have simple needs. which are easily met if observed or if we are sensitive enough.
why bother about other stuff if you cant even meet the simple needs of a loved one.

its okay if we dont feel appreciated at times.
as long as we know we've tried and people we love are happy.
we should be happy too.

i love this song.
but its sad.
touches my heart.
i cried the first time i heard it.

Butterfly Kisses

There's two things I know for sure
She was sent here from heaven and she's daddy's little girl
As I drop to my knees by her bed at night
She talks to Jesus and I close my eyes and
I thank god for all the joy in my life
Oh but most of all
For butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer
Sticking little white flowers all up in her hair
"Walk beside the pony, Daddy, it's my first ride."
"I know the cake looks funny, Daddy, but I sure tried."
In all that I've done wrong I know I must have done something right to deserve a hug every morning and butterfly kisses at night.

Sweet 16 today
She's looking like her mama a little more everyday
One part woman the other part girl
To perfume and make-up from ribbons and curls
Trying her wings out in a great big world
But I remember
Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer
Sticking little white flowers all up in her hair
"You know how much I love you, Daddy
But if you don't mind I'm only gonna kiss you on the cheek this time."
With all that I've done wrong I must have done something right to deserve her love every morning and butterfly kisses at night.

All the precious time
Like the wind the years go by
Precious butterfly
Spread your wings and fly

She'll change her name today
She'll make a promise and I'll give her away
Standing in the bride-room just staring at her
She asked me what I'm thinking and I said I'm not sure-I just feel like I'm losing my baby girl."
She leaned over...gave me butterfly kisses with her mama there
Sticking little white flowers all up in her hair
"Walk my down the aisle,
Daddy-it's just about time."
"Does my wedding gown look pretty, Daddy? Daddy, don't cry."
Oh with all that I've done wrong I must have done something right.
To deserve your love every morning and butterfly kisses-
I couldn't ask God for more, man this is what love is
I know I gotta let her go but I'll always remember
Every hug in the morning and butterfly kisses.

Get Down (You're The One For Me)

you're the one for me
you're my ecstasy
you're the one I need

Chorus
get down
get down
and move it all around
get down
get down
and move it all around
hey baby love
i need a girl like you
but tell me if you feel it too
i'm in delusion
every minute every hour
my heart is calling out for you

Bridge
i feel in heaven when I look in your eyes
i know that you are the one for me (One for me)
you drive me crazy cuz you're one of a kind
i want your lovin'
and I want it right now

Chorus
refrain
ooh baby you're so fine
i'm gonna make you mine
your lips they taste so sweet
you're the one for me
you're my ecstasy
you're the one I need

Rap: Smooth T.
bang, bang, bang
here we come
here we slam
it's the Fun Factory
with the BSB
yo you girls
get on your knees
tryin' to scream
or touch me please
backstreet Boys
are you with it
(yeah)
A.J hit it!
come on girl and get down
spike it up flip it
and move it all around
here it is if you wanna get with this
put you at the top of my list yeah

Bridge
Chorus(x2)
refrain
you're the one for me
you're my ecstasy
you're the one I need

Chorus (2x)
get down get down
and move it all around
get down get down
get down, yeah!

this song sure brings back some memories.
right baby?
haha.
i really cant believe it.

Sunday, May 07, 2006

k dont scream..the answer lies somewhere near..yeaterday..my troubles seem so far away..she is now typing on her phone about what she blogged and im suppose to tell her why i was angry yesterday..haha..ok ok ok ok ok..i'll tell you why..you so pretty..i so ugly..but we're meant to be..tamPENIS block 895 is where i want to be..we both typing our handphone like playing digimon..o baby..say my name..say my name..wah you so serious ar reading this..relax ah..the real reason to why you shall soon find out..TP TitANs whoosh! we are ferocious we are committed we are united we are tpiranhas BOOOOO!! who lives in a pineapple under the sea..? sponge bob squarepants..eh..where our bus..? i didnt tell you the answer..look for someone who has four things that are black in colour..the answer is somewhere there..muahaha..o by the way..you typing your life story ah..? HahaHaha..hurry up la..so long..i shall swear only in english..wah kao so long..

the above is seven messages long.
and guess who typed it on his handphone.
my gosh.
its so dumb.
but it makes me laugh.

i bully.
you bullu.
where's my money?
thirty-six bucks.
tshirt wont do.
accepted in cash only.

silly baby.
rest well.

today is stephanus's birthday.
happy birthday lil bro!
we went for steamboat.
my gosh.
the place so chaotic and crowded. service so bad.
didnt eat much but still full. full. full.

Saturday, May 06, 2006

today is a saturday.
and no. it aint a bad one.
i enjoyed it.
planned to study.
but no. i didnt. haha.
spent the day with baby.

hes sucha monster.
my slut.
haha.
hes an idiot.
okay. so am i. that makes us compatible.

had subway for dinner again. yeah.

not sure if i wanna go gym tomorrow.
should i.
or should i not.
hmm.
that is the question.
i needa tone up badly.
and lose some weight too.
i wanna be fitter.
bleah.
gym. here i come.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

sometimes i wonder what if i didnt stay near school.
and no. im not refering to you lorencia.
convenience will not come into mind.
i dont wanna be unreasonable.
so i shant say anything.
and sometimes it aint that alright.
sometimes time heals.
sometimes it doesnt.

i read something which says: women needa talk about their feelings until they feel understood.
is that true. perhaps.
i just know we dont always speak the truth cos we want others to be happy.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

these few days have been crying days for me.
lots filled my mind.
but thanks to my baby.
he made me feel better. although sometimes hes the main reason why.
but im back to my cheerful self.
smiles.

so after days of crying.
im down with flu.
now im teary.
woke up in the middle of the night yesterday.
couldnt sleep. cos i couldnt breathe.
felt terrible.

school was alright today.
tuesdays are fine.
just aap.
but cant the lecturer put tutorial and lecture together. so we can go home earlier.

one of my friend just broke up with her boyfriend.
so sad.
i really hope i can make her feel better.
i dont have much to say but i hope i can be a listening ear to her.
cheer up girl.

lorencia. when we gonna catch take the lead?
and its time you took home your basket.
nah. take your time. hee.

my books are sold!
i've got fifty-five bucks.
but with stephanus birthday and mother's day and our love day just around the corner. i'll be broke again.

im in love with subway.
its healthy food.