another side of me

Sunday, May 27, 2007

attempt to study-
failed.

i gotta experience the life of a mum.
with three kitties.
waking in the middle of the night.
having to take care of them and satisfying their needs of food and water.
skittles is the big brother and the most independent.
and he's so handsome.
miso loves to be pampered and she makes it clear with her high pitched meowing.
she's quite attached to me.
chocolate is the baby.
he needs to be fed and protected and kept warm.
watching him take his first steps and learning how to run is so funny yet it brings joy.
he likes to bury himself under you and go to sleep.

baby is still in phuket.
missing him.

the diminishing effect.
it always happens.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

today's a crazy day.

a fun kinda crazy.

first it was lizard madness.

in my room.

thanks to skittles.

then screams when lorencia didnt warn me about lifting the container.

and stacia busy getting miso down from the window.

back to school.

for a draggy bpharm lecture and laughing session through csas.

a late night
staying up to make baby's costume.

it's spartans theme for his phuket trip tomorrow.

with the red cape and all.

bare bodied.
cool baby.

no ladyboy toying around eh.

kitty madness!
my lovelies.

it's a love hate relationship.

chocolate love.

my baby.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

i aint your emotional punching bag.
im not one you vent your anger on.
dont ask me to shut up as and when you like.
i think before i speak.
that takes time but i make you angry cos you think im not replying.
you got no patience for that.
you dont think before you speak.
that causes me to hurt.
an apology has never crossed your mind.

my blog is an emotional outlet for me.
for good and happy things.
and for the things that get me down sometimes.
but i dont dwell on them.
i love my life but there are just bad days like everybody else's.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

smu touch yesterday.
never have i been so unprepared for a game.
our game was at eight but we arrived at 750am.
and it had to be against our toughest opponent in our pool-nus.
bad game.
both our teams lost in the fight to procede to the finals.
my team played sp and it was a really really close fight.
0-0 led to sudden death.
from 5 players to 4.
then the try happened.

i dont blame anyone for that try.
it had to happen.
either us or them and it just happen to be theirs.
we played our hearts out thats for sure.

the want
the desire
the expectations.
i just didnt wanna hafta disappoint.
i hardly cry after a lost game.
but yesterday i did.
for awhile i was numb
until i went to talk to yam and she cried
it reminded me of how i really felt on the inside and those tears just came.

i miss those days with the pol ite team
when i could just be on the field and play along.
do my thing without pressure.
but now i feel sucha huge responsibility to do something on the field.
and yesterday
i felt i wanted to do so much more.
but i couldnt.
and then i thought about how much i wanted to be one of those playing sudden death.
the ones with the ability to.
and now i got that.
its scary to have the team's fate in the hands of your team mates and you cant do anything but watch from the side line.
but you trust that they will do well.
but its even scarier to have it in your hands and you gotta really give it all so as not to let your team mates down.
they have brought the team so far.
the rest is in the hands of those on the field.

thanks to those who cared.
thanks dee.
she said: "you're letting nicole down"
that really woke me up.
cos i thought to myself that she needs my help.
i cant breakdown like that
what about the rest of the team.
we needa be strong for each other.

im so looking towards pol ite 2007.

after smu touch
haha and i went down to police academy for steph's virgin contact game.
her no. 1 fans.
she did so well.
despite of how lost she felt in the game
she looked like she knew what she was doing and what she needed to do.
shes got potential.

haha and i headed to bugis for alil shopping after that.
vie said weird combination
but i say fun.
i had a great time and a break from all the emotions earlier.

boy was i drained of all my energy.
i just plopped into bed and fell fast asleep.

Friday, May 18, 2007

im a mood-driven person.
be it blogging or shopping or anything else.
most of the time.

a long day in school today.
eight to three.
no break at all.
it almost drove me mad.
esp bpharm lab.
crazy research.
in last lab today we dealed with mice.
learnt how to restrain mice, did ear notching and practised gavaging on them.
well well
our number 56 mouse bit me.
bled instantly.
my poor thumb thumb.
but i still think my course is damn cool.

after craziness ended
lorencia stacia diana and i left for town.
intended lunner ( lunch + dinner)
but the yummy japenese restaurant was closed til 530pm.
hungry tummies went for fried mars bars.
so tummies had to go on being empty til the shop opened
and i thought the wait better be worth it.
today i learnt that service aint everything.
lucky for that guy im very patient.

my heels are gone.
gotta search for another pair i like or a similar one.

on my way home.
i met with a mad man again.
i was so freaked out.
he alighted with me.
he kept looking at me and he walked towards me when i was at the bus stop.
then he leaned forward to look at me for awhile and decided to walk away.
what a huge relief.

im so tired.
it's gonna be an early night cos tomorrow is a long long day.
rugby!

Sunday, May 13, 2007

tpiranhas bedok
9-1
third.
we ended with a bang.
summer touch league is officially over.

had my last day of work today.
baby sent me to work.
all the way into sentosa and into the shop.
even ordered a drink.
and i have no idea why but i got nervous and messed up his drink alil.
haa.
much love.
a quiet last day despite the weekend.
bye bye nzn.

indulging in my new chocolate phone.

Friday, May 11, 2007

daddy bought me a new chocolate phone!
he made me a very happy girl today.

school was rather short.
lunch then home to rest.
cramps.

i finished up the book that luu lent me.
the time traveller's wife.
this is a marvellous book.
the first book i ever complete.
and in sucha short time.
the story is close to perfection.
i wish it didnt hafta come to an end.
i just wanna go on and on and on reading this book.
the ending just brought me to tears.
touching.

today
my hormones just took control.
i dont know why.
i just cried at everything.
i cried watching so you think you can dance.
believe that.
and at a msg i was prepared for.
a fact that i could contain.
the things that time of the month does to you.

why do i bother saying nice stuff
when i know im not gonna get any back.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

tpiranhas nanda
7-1
excellent game.
what spirit attitude drive and hunger.
we needed to lead by 12 to proceed into the finals for 1st and 2nd place.
but we didnt.
it's okay.
it was a game im proud of.
that's what matters.
saturday's game will be for 3rd.
we will make it.

im so prouda all you girls today.
this is the real tpiranhas.

i finally know how i would react if i saw a ghost.
thanks to my brother's friend who sat in the dark talking on the phone.
if i see a ghost
i would get goosebumps
my heart would feel like it's breaking outta my chest
and i would go on and act as if i didnt see anything
as though nothing happened.

i wish you would say more.
those words i needa hear.
those words i wanna hear.
those words i long for.

Sunday, May 06, 2007

an endless thread of transparent beads.
a million broken pieces of blood stained glass.
your masterpiece.

what must i do to get your attention?

celebrated the bro's birthday today.
ate til im bloated.
played alil pool which i suck real bad at.
had lotsa fun.

the weekends are over.

Saturday, May 05, 2007

something is wrong with blogger.

tpiranhas blacks
4-3
we ended stl with a bang.
good good game.
very well done on everybody's part.
but i was pissed off.
i've changed my impression about some people.

now
it's all about the support.

burnt
red
tired.

haha says:
u moron larr, u sunburnt den u wil nv get tanned one !! im so jealous of u ! den u wil get rosy nice red crab color !

after stl steph and i went to raffles city to walk around before heading to padang for scc and aus navy's game.
BORING.
no action.
only blood.
all eyes were on the ref instead.
all talk was about him too.
caterpillar more interesting.

my sunflower dropped.
:(

i swear im underpaid.

Friday, May 04, 2007

school from eight am to nine.
which is rather stupid.
then breakfast with lorencia and stacia.
waste time waste time til it was time to leave for town.

towning was short yet fulfilling.
i didnt disappoint lorencia and bought stuff.
unexpected stuff that aint in my want list.
she bought stuff too.
good buys eh.
both became broke.
its bad going out with her.
cos that's putting one stupid girl with another.
stopping and popping our heads out to watch out for cars when it's a zebra crossing.
silliness.
got fright from some woman that doesnt even look like she should be representing a modelling agency.
bitching.
laughing.
attempted complain which i didnt get to hear.
nice day.
loves this girl.

deal
one more shopping trip
and no more spending.
save.

home it was.
then the boyfriend called.
met him
supposedly for a quick bite
but it ended up to be a much longer time together.
in my tshirt and shorts
he decided courts and giant.
oh boy was i embarressed going there dressed like that
but he refused to let me change.
so i had to be brave.
afterall i had no choice.
we bought chicken which we grilled at home
with my new 3-in-1 waffle machine.
attempted my very own butter sauce.
eeks.
and lotsa sushi.
nice dinner.

nice day.

weekends!

Thursday, May 03, 2007

finally aircon!
cool.
comfy.
cosy.
goodnight sleep ensured.

training was fun today.
i like.
but im aching all over.
i need a massage.

school was terrible today.
it made me so so tired.
even throughout training i was yawning.
pfft.
i dont like thursdays.
long school hour.
heavy bag.
fatigue.

i love the boyfriend.
i dont know what i would do without him on tuesday.
loves.