another side of me

Sunday, January 28, 2007

things always turn out fine in the end.
thank you boyfriend.

thanks for the concern people.

Saturday, January 27, 2007

for a day
i thought i didnt have a boyfriend.
it felt that way at least.

someone is taking things for granted.
taking me for granted.

oh well.

Friday, January 26, 2007

im just being a girl.
sometimes i wish i didnt hafta go through all the emotional stuff
or feel the way i do about stuff.
i try
but it's hard.

what a way to end the week.
what a way to end the day.
what a way to end our time.

the weekend is here!
wonderful weekend.

time for me to take a break.
not a complete one though.
cos there's still stuff to be done.

today's weather is nice.
cold day.
lazy day.
long day in school.
but the 's phase' and i survived it!
we didnt skip lecture.
and we laughed so much through the last lecture over the s phase thing.
lorencia even had to draw an ass face.
and also thanks to her which part of your body can you find mickey mouse and donald duck joke.
dr quek said
' to people who have been laughing all the time its time for you to settle down and listen cos i do not wanna embarrass you infront of all your friends'
but he wasnt looking at us so it shouldnt be us?
shrugs.

the littlest friend and i had fun in the photo booth.
laughing and squeezing
trying hard to fit into the lil oval on the screen.
hilarious i tell you.
but the machine cheated us of our money.
not only was there no change given.
it was four pictures of the same shot.
but we still had fun.
gonna find the proper machine next time.

this has been a hectic week.
and i've no idea why im so broke.
why did i spend so much money and what did i spend it on.
hmm.
im wondering til now.

gonna have a good night sleep tonight.

weekend
here i come!

Thursday, January 25, 2007

happy happy day
for a happy happy girl.

had lab today and managed to get dr quek to change tutorial to next week.
so school ended at twelve today.
then home to complete my mosaic art work which was due at four pm today.
i was so desperate.
and i guess it turned out ookay.
the stress is over.
finally.
one load off my shoulder.
the week has been crazy for me.
and now i gotta study for quizzes and more quizzes
and lab tests and presentations.
oh boy.
busy like crazy.
cant wait for the weekends
when i can take a breather.

but training was good.
i was said to have good vision on the game.
and my fake passes got me a try.
my aim in games are not to try but instead to create.
i like today's training session.
happy with my play.
and was made player of the day for my team.
glad.
but the thing about me is that
im inconsistent.
gotta work on that
and much much more.
i wanna be a better player.

glad to know that mab's daddy is doing alot better.
smiles.

alright.
time to hit the notes for quizzes tomorrow.

it's gonna be a late night
and a very early morning.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

open house was alright.
but steph and i had some moo moo fun.
not forgetting our photographer ruby.

saturday
i went to the doctor for my tetanus and hep b jab.
despite the persuasion from the doctor
i did not wanna take blood test.
the doctor wrote- refuse blood test on the card.
after seeing that i took the tetanus jab very well
as cool as a cucumber ( his exact words)
the doctor persuaded me to take the blood test.
he even promised money back guarantee if there was pain
and would change to a smaller needle for me.
so i took it really relunctantly.
im thankful that the boyfriend was there with me.
the blood test was nothing.
i felt so dumb for freaking out earlier on.
results will come out on tuesday.
im hoping that i've got immunity against hep b.
fingers crossed.
the boyfriend stayed over to take care of me.
tetanus jab hurts and still hurts.
i cant do much with the left arm
and lifting it to certain positions hurt.
sleeping is a problem too.

wee.
no school tomorrow.
but gonna be yet another busy week.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

tp open house.
booths are pathetic.
pathetically pathetic.
and small.
what were they thinking.
last year was so much better.

but thanks to the brains of touch girls
we got ourselves our own spot.
with an umbrella and chairs.
shared playing area with floorball.
borrow borrow awhile from them to play touch.
no blisters this year.
played so much at open house
i was so tired and drained of energy at training.
but nevertheless
friendly match with ntu had to go on.
we played them with rsn team a
then team b
then pol ite team.
we did not bad.
can do better though.
and im quite happy with my performance despite the exhaustion.

celebrated steph's birthday after training too.
a big thanks to ad the generous.

happy birthday lil steph!

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

the boyfriend forgot about me.
he went home leaving me waiting.
hungry.
without dinner.
but he was just lying to surprise me
with the car.
silly boyfriend.
dumping me- a manjunt.
for a bollywood actress huh.
you wish.

i couldnt ask for more.

you're the grestest.

much love to the fat hope boyfriend.

skittles.

the boyfriend.

loves.

i love wholegrain mushroom.
yum.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

this is dedicated to my dearest friend.

guess today is a really bad day for both of us.
but im glad i got you today.
esp through school.
you brighten up my days in school.
without you
there wont be any fun laughter and joy.
i would be an outcast in the world of applied science among nerds.
you were there to salvage me
before i mutate into a 'princess' to blend in.
i appreciate all that you've done and gone through with me.
im sorry i let you down at times.
not being there at your dance concert and your birthday party.
and oweing you your christmas present.
im a bad friend.

i always wished that i can cheer you up.
so i'd come up with silly lame stuff just to make you laugh.
just to see you smile.
and i hope i can do that now.
i want you to be like yourself.
your cheerful self like i how see you in school everyday.
i look forward to seeing you tomorrow.
do get well soon.
today is just a bad dream.
it'll all be over.
it's like a disposing day.
when all the bad stuff comes out.
and all the good thing remain-you.
you are one good thing in my life.
dont change.
nobody is perfect.
working towards perfection is stupid.
just be yourself.
people will love you for who you are.
who cares about those fucked up people.
i love you and many others do too.

so stop feeling the way you are right now.
cos many people care and you're just making us worry.
do you want that?
i know you're not mean.
you wouldnt wanna make me cry right?
so please be alright.
please smile.

im always here for you if you need me.
i dont care if you're pretty or ugly when you cry.
cos you've blinded me somehow to think you're always that wonderful looking.
if you ever need help.
im here too.
i dont care about what others think about me.
im just proud that i got a friend like you.
who cares about those critical and judgemental people.
they are the blind ones.
cos they didnt find what i found.
which is a gem.
and that gem is you.

gems come in all shapes and sizes too.
i've got you-the littlest gem.
and other bigger and lengthier improportionate gems.
nothing is perfect.

now now
dont you come calling me a liar.
cos i tell the truth.
all truth and nothing but the truth.
(three fingers up and none crossed)

much love to this littlest friend.

we have different ways of making ourselves feel better
when we're hurt upset angry frustrated or whatever.
and sometimes we dont understand others way of doing it or letting it out.
and we are in no position to criticise cos we dont know what goes through their minds and how they are feeling.
nor get them to stop doing what they're doing.
unless it's unhealthy.

my way of letting it out is by crying.
and many people simply dont understand.
when something happens
alot goes through my mind.
that train of thoughts is never ending.
and crying makes me feel a whole lot better.
i like to be the cheerful self that everybody sees me as.
but sometimes it's just so hard to keep that mask on
and hold back the tears.

why do people criticise and try to stop others from letting it out?
why do they spend so much effort on that instead of making that person feel better?

it's just so hard trying to expect and hope and make myself feel better and be optimistic all at once when something happens.
it gets tiring.
sometimes i just wish to have someone who will always be there.
who can read my thoughts.
and understand what im going through.
who will not judge and be critical.
but just be there to make me feel all better the way it works for me.

we may sometimes think we found that right person who will always be there.
but then again
they're human.
they're imperfect just like ourselves.
and they will just prove you wrong time and time again.

if only crying doesnt make your eyes all puffy and swollen and make your face turn red.
and make me lose my double eyelids.

i wish i could be in your shoes to show you what i would do.
but then maybe i would be a different person.

dont get to see the reactions
dont get to hear the words
dont get to feel the emotions
that i need to heal the wounds.

thanks littlest friend.

it's all just hope.
optimism.
which turns out to be a bunch of fat hope.

Sunday, January 07, 2007

i love sunflowers.
thank you baby.
loves.

weeeeeee 2007.

2007 caught me by surprise actually.
man.
how time flies.

let's take a look down memory lane at what happened in 2006.
a year of major decisions.
to start a new lifestyle.
away from something i've always been a part of.
but not anymore.
no regrets.

i met baby- the boyfriend.
he's been wonderful.
someone that keeps me going.
lotsa love.
went through fasting month for the very first time.
lost some weight too.
school has been great with my littlest friend lorencia kan and her boyfriend.
all the fun laughter and nonsense.
started spreeing thanks to her too.
and we gotta work with animals.
animals i love.
i gotta spend lots more time with the family.
realised how much my brothers have matured.
definitely less arguements with them.
also gotta spend lotsa time playing the game i love- touch.
and participating in competitions with my fellow beloved team mates.
and and ips.
in which we won champions.
smiles.
and girlfriends are love.
gotta meet up with them lots more this year.
i found myself kitty too.
2006 has been a learning year for me.
learning to be in a relationship and being more independent.
i have no no regrets.

all the ups and downs have helped me be who i am today.
i've no complaints.
i am a happy girl.
cheers to 2007.
it's gonna be the best year yet.

love to all.