Friday, March 31, 2006
the higher the expectation.the greater the disappointment.there are times i just dont wanna expect things to happen.hence the 'i dont knows'.i'd rather be surprised.am i expecting too much.sometimes i wonder.but is it wrong to expect.the lil things show how much a person truly cares.
Sunday, March 26, 2006
mod touch.i woke up at six am today. but thought i'd sleep alil while longer. the next time i checked. it was already six fortytwo. gosh. it wont be possible for me to meet the rest at seven. but almost everybody else was late. no surprise.but that disappointed marli cos she needed our help to set up the stuff at seven. we turned up around seven fortyfive.in groups of threes or twos we coached different schools assigned to us by marli. it was fun coaching the kids touch rugby. and being called coach was a good feeling. hee.at the end of it we had an exhibitionn game with srjc. and then came the clearing up of the mess. litter everywhere. uploading the stuff into the car and all. girl power. and teamwork.marli talked to us after that regarding some serious stuff. boy. do i dislike that person now. i shall not mention any name.and we should be getting paid. cool.like we only know at the end of the mod touch.came home with two Ts.an experience of being a coach.another fun day.looking forward to more of such events. cos i want more tshirts!im crazy over rugby tshirts. haha.and also becos i enjoyed myself.got home. had my long awaited lunch. didnt eat anything before that. then i slept.usually i wont be able to sleep at night after napping in the afternoon. but guess todays an exception. cos.....chris birthday celebrationjiemin mab and me planned a birthday celebration for our dear friend chris. its her 18th birthday today.planned a bbq actually but due to some reasons we decided to have a steamboat instead. in my home. told chris the plans and that only five of us will be there. the rest of the nine people were meant to be a surprise.they did surprise chris.steamboat was fun. peng and gi were being themselves. being messy and mischievous. it was full of laughter. and jokes. and pranks. had lotsa catching up done.mab jasmine and moy arrived late. so we hid in my room intending to scare them. told my dad to tell them that they came to the wrong unit. haha. but they regconise my dad. too bad.they entered my pitch dark room one by one to be our victims. first was moy. she came in with her umbrella. opened. typical moy. so auntie.hahaha. it was funny.then came mab and jasmine together. cos they were scared. haha.we got gi to get the cake up. switch off the lights and surprised chris with a cake and birthday song. took photos. someone stuffed a candle into a cake and got chris to get it out with her mouth. so the natural thing to do was to push her head into the cake. who always does such stuff. obviously me. haha. evil. so. pushed it once and not enough. i got cream smeared on her face. then another smash face down on the cake. hahaha. the cake became inedible. then it was payback time. chris started throwing cake at everybody. and she wouldnt let me get away easily. the clever people ran downstairs. but a few of us got so engrossed that my room became a mess. like totally. took pictures of my room. the aftermath. a floor of mango cake. and im serious. wait til you see the pictures.got cake on my curtains. wall. bed even.and cake all over our faces hair and shirts.we even had revenge in the toilet.the best part. nobody brought extra clothes.well. i didnt mind the mess. it was for the fun of it. just that it got everybody involved in the cleaning up. teamwork. lotsa tissues used. cloth. mopping and more mopping. had to get rid of the oily feeling. it was all fun. but tiring. cleaned up my room and the area outside the room and the toilet.thanks to everybody who helped cleaned up. especially people like von peng jiemin and gi.im glad chris enjoyed herself. all the sacrifice was worth it.happy 18th birthday my dear chris!love ya!now. all that cleaning is gonna get me sleeping soundly tonight.goodnight.
Friday, March 24, 2006
maths stats was good.
a sure pass.
my best maths paper yet.
very do-able.
haha.
joined the guys for fitness today.
thought i'd die halfway or something.
but it was better then i expected. lots better. fun too.
so much so that im gonna join them more for the weeks to come.
and im sure i wont feel as lost as today.
went for dinner after that and i totally stoned.
tired.
maybe i gave someone too much attitude today. but well cant expect me to act all happy as if im feeling alright.
today must be the worst day with me.
sorry.
and for aggravating your hamstring too.
sorry.
whatever.
just sorry for giving you a hard time.
and thanks for lying about going to malaysia.
it didnt help at all.
what a day.
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
yesterday.
the day i thought i'd go surprise someone at his house bus stop with a rose.
planned to meet at tamp interchange and he was supposed to inform me when hes leaving the house. but i left home real early. took a bus to bedok interchange. walked around looking for some place that sells flowers cos i wanted to get him a rose. kinda lost but i tried not to look lost.
got the rose at some market place. a blue rose. walked anyhow back to the interchange and from there to his house.
carved alil something on the stalk.
waited at the bus stop.
wait.
wait.
wait.
and still waiting.
giving someone a surprise aint easy at all.
it was so nerve-wrecking.
and on my mind were scenarios of how the surprise would turn out and how it could be impossible. like if he arrived at the bus stop and the bus came. how. if his sister decided to go to gnc and gave him a lift. how. if he took a cab. how.
in the end. i waited for an hour. he appeared. watched his every move from opposite. panicked when he disappeared for alil while. i called and saw him still opposite. i laughed and came up with a stupid excuse-wrong number. hung up. watched as he crossed at the traffic light. hid. but something felt wrong after the green man turned red. hes taking too long to appear at the bus stop. i came outta hiding to search. he was gone. one of the possible scenarios happened. he took a cab. i called him and he had to get the cab to turn back. the cab uncle smiled when i entered.
i felt dumb.
like really really dumb.
so stupid.
what a surprise it turned out to be.
no more surprises.
my first and look what happened.
gosh.
baby is so mean.
he even got pissed.
and he had to tell someone about it.
share the laughter huh.
mean baby.
action figure.
what kind.
action figure.
what size.
a game between me and baby.
i love my jerk-me-teddy action figure.
theres a new one too.
vibrator cheeky boy.
haha.
today.
hpi was a goner.
like totally.
i love my baby lots.
Monday, March 20, 2006
back from my thailand trip.finally.missing someone isnt easy.day one.arrived at krabi. took a half an hour taxi ride to our resort. had late lunch. aunt carina and me then took a tuk tuk up to mac one km away to packet dinner for the rest. wanted to take a walk back and shop along the way but the rain hasnt stopped.in the middle of the night when everyone was sound asleep. there was a power cut throughout the resort. the aircon stopped working. how sad was that. everybody was woken up. almost everybody except one-me. i slept throughout.day two.went to the beach for tanning and then back to the resort to swim and tan some more. my purpose-to get tanned. and i mean alot tanner. and then in the evening it rained again.this day was more of a relaxed day. everything was done in our own timing.day three.most memorable day of the trip.went on a tour.went around on a speed boat powered by twin turbo engines. visited bamboo island. went snokelling. and to phi phi island.didnt know how to use the snorkel at first and only got used to it after drinking two big gulps of sea water. yucks. first was snokelling near the shore then after that was snokelling in open waters at different parts of the sea. the marine life under water is just beautiful. breathtaking. imagine swimming with the fishes. colourful coral fish. saw parrot fish. angel fish even. and many other marine fishes. and also a giant clam. all the sea urchins. and corals and sea anemones. just beautiful. i could go on and on. i didnt wanna come out of the water into the boat. i didnt wanna leave. didnt want the day to end.we went to monkey bay too. given bananas to feed them. greedy fellows. they dont want pieces of the bananas. they want the whole thing. and they take it by force. one grabbed my leg. i had no choice but to give the whole thing. i was scared.day four.shopping.took a taxi ( the thailand kinda taxi) to krabi town.shopped at a shopping centre. nothing much.wanted to go to gastropod fossil. they call it the shell cemetery. heard its a beautiful place. but due to high tranport costs. we headed back to our resort. i fell asleep while watching tv. so i had trouble sleeping at night. but i was thinking of somebody all night long.day five.breakfast. waited for time to pass. cant wait to get back home to singapore and see baby. but time passed kinda slow that morning. watched tv. this show-powder was showing on star movies. sucha nice show. touching. was moved to tears. havent cried in a long while.krabi time is an hour back from singapore time.needed some time to adjust.whats good about shopping in krabi is the bargaining and the friendly people.and anybody can walk in their swim wear all day around krabi. anybody big small fat thin. felt so comfortable there. and quite safe too.oh. and the thai pancake. yummylicious. its a must try. pancake with egg and banana and milk and chocolate. mmm.had seafood almost everyday for dinner. sure. i put on weight.got bitten by mosquitoes. lotsa bites all around.i love the beach. and the sunset.the sea is so clear. really really clear. like transparent clear.i love the beach.and when the tide goes down. walking on the wet sand is just so nice. crabs and hermit crabs and starfish.and i got tanner.and got a tattoo. a fake one.and had a great time.a real memorable time.got back to singapore. met baby to study.i missed him lots. i feel so bad for not calling or messaging him for the past five days.didnt know he wasnt feeling well and all. lots happened when i was away.sorry baby.didnt wanna let him go. didnt want time to pass so soon. but he has to go home and study and get some rest. i'll get to see him soon. it better be soon.nights.
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
had breakfast delivered to me. in bed. dont i feel lucky.baby called mac delivery and even got breakfast for my bro. aint he sweet.met mabel and we went down to parkway to meet clare. ate delifrance. yummylicious.skipped maths revision lecture today cos i thought it wouldnt help and i'll just bore myself there.met baby again to go to school to study. but it didnt happen cos we ended up talking. or more like me napping here and there.baby is beside me now. sleeping. hes sucha bear. my baby bear.i simply love him.im gonna miss him lots for the five days im in thailand.he feeds me alot. feeds me well. i get to eat wherever and whatever i wanna. im so gonna put on weight.watching good boy now. spending time with baby before i leave for thailand tomorrow morning.good bye.good night.
Monday, March 13, 2006
a relationship is all about trust.had a good chat with the rugby guys today. i was the only girl around so i pretty much kept quiet and listen to whatever they hafta say. like i do most of the time. just listen. im glad they didnt hold much back becos of my presence cos they have nothing to worry about. i will never let anything out. and i hope the people there trust me not to. i learnt more about guys. in the way they treat girls or more of how they will treat their girlfriends. i knew it was never easy to make a girl happy but through this talk i see things from the guys' point of view.it was a chill relax talk session. but people do get affected by what others say. like my baby.i could feel it. just that i never said it out. til he walked me home and everything surfaced. im glad we could talk it out. but somehow i dont think i've gotten everything outta my heart cos it still feels heavy. i need baby to trust me more. who said gaining trust is easy. baby. have more confidence in yourself please. i really need you to do that.know that im no ordinary girl. im your girlfriend. you matter to me.i have more feelings than happy sad angry frustrated bla bla bla.just that sometimes i dont even know what im feeling to tell. if only you could feel what i feel. then maybe you'll understand better and it will be made clear.and its really important to me about how you feel. please tell me. dont keep quiet. its so cruel to me. i just hate it. and its so difficult to keep quiet continue to hold your hand and pretend theres really nothing. we can work it out. i believe so.just be yourself. i love you for who you are.who needs some caucasian guy who drives a bmw and whatever else he's got. i've got you. and thats all that matters.trust. a small word but yet it means so much and takes so much for it to happen.baby stayed over for the past two nights. so sweet of him to accompany me for ntu touch on sunday. had to wake up real early. i didnt fix breakfast for him like i said i would. traveled all the way to boon lay. watch games for hours while waiting for me to end. thanks baby.watched vcd until we both fell asleep.i appreciate everything you've done. and having you by my side when i sleep.ntu touch.i had to wear haha's jersey. cos i couldnt find mine. searched the whole house. tried to recall if i lend it to anybody. no clues. thought i really lost it. but its with luu. any oh how i fitted into haha's jersey which is like one size smaller than mine. feel so uncomfortable in it cos its tight fitting and goes up when i run. and touch involves lotsa running. imagine all the attention and whistles i got from my fellow team mates. thanks to the ntu touch top. i dont know what i would have done without it.alvin poh called me. crap. i didnt needa hear his voice at all. call himself a careperson. that title doesnt suit him at all. care my foot. all he does is put me down. discourage. thanks but no thanks.crying isnt all easy anymore.i've got no idea why.where have all my tears gone to.
Saturday, March 11, 2006
i spend my awake time thinking of you.
my sleeping time dreaming of you.
and holding kissing and cuddling you is what i'll always do when im with you.
as long as you promise to keep by me and keep the flame burning.
from me to my special someone.
no prizes for guessing who.
my baby messaged me this one morning.
i love him.
Friday, March 10, 2006
chalet from tueday to thursday.was great. fun. had late nights but i really enjoyed myself lots.thought more tpiranhas babies would go and stay. but the only girls who stayed throughout were steph charlotte mel and me.the company was great. and i like waking up with somebody by my side. or having somebody watch over me when i sleep.i feel so sorry for leaving steph alone one morning. she got scared. i feel so bad.and she cooked me noodles. so nice of her.didnt go to pulau ubin on the second day cos stayed back with steph and luu for some tanning at the back yard.the sun was great but i didnt get much tanner.sure looking forward to more of such chalets.just got my results back.bad news.i gotta take supps.boo hoo.been there done that.but still gotta go there once again.sad.moreover im going to thailand next week.gotta study whenever i can.but somebody's gonna study with me right? right?boo hoo.
Monday, March 06, 2006
i received 99 kisses!
Sunday, March 05, 2006
this i promise you by n'syncooohhh the visions around you bring tears to your eyes and all that surrounds you are secrets and lies i'll be your strength i'll give you hopekeeping your faith when it's gonethe one you should call i'm standing here all along and I will take you in my arms and hold you right where you belong
til the day my life is through this I promise you this I promise you i've loved you forever in lifetimes before and I promise you never will you hurt anymore i give you my word i give you my heart this is a battle we won and with this vow forever has now begun just close your eyes with each loving day know this feeling won't go away
til the day my life is through this I promise you
every word I say is true this I promise you ooooh I promise you
tell me again why i need a boyfriendcos i need somebody to....say i look beautiful when i actually just look alright
tell me that i am more than just any ordinary girl
tell me that i am special
guide me back on the right path when i feel lost
just whisper in my ears a song i like
coax me to sleep when i cant sleep
stroke my hair and give me kisses on the ear occasionally when i am asleep
carry my bag regardless whether i am tired or not
carry me when i am too tired to walk
hug me from behind and say sweet sweet words that would melt mecuddle up with mehave entertaining intelligent and pure fun conversations with
put my hair in place when it goes out of place
give me a tissue when i am tearing or having a flu etclend me a shoulder to cry or lean on hold my hand and play with my fingersgive me flowers and presents unsuspectinglytell me things are alright even when they are notbe there for me when no one else canlove me unconditionally
make me feel super duper special
by someone special.
Saturday, March 04, 2006
my malaysia trip.set off for msia last night at around ten. slept through the way. the first thing we did was have supper. at this rate. i would put on more weight. i ate lots on this trip. didnt shop much and didnt get a hair cut cos i didnt wanna deprive my time for shopping.celebrated grandma's birthday at this restaurant. the food was not bad. UNTIL i found a caterpillar in the veg. it was like flattened. gosh. the dish was almost finished aready. thats the good thing about eating slowly. haha. we were compensated with another veg dish. but not everybody dared to eat it.grandma teared when we sang her a birthday song. aww....i love grandma lots.not a fulfilling shopping trip cos mummy spoilt my mood for shopping. she show me black face when i wanted to buy stuff. so to avoid seeing more black face from her i didnt shop much. or i would just end up seeing something i like but dont wanna ask for.but im glad i got a few stuff. just a few.back to the comfort of my home sweet home and my bed.sure looking forward to the week ahead.
Thursday, March 02, 2006
the day at the zoo.27th january.monday.
the rugby challenge.real challenging. started off with volleyball. a game of touch. soccer. dog-and-bone.my team-ungku one won the dog-and-bone and could set off first to search for our first clue in school. was that tough. i was complaining. we searched places after places but to no avial. man. was that difficult to find. so we ended up being the third team to set off from school.no money. no public transport. all we had were our legs. walk.from school to chai chee. to bedok reservoir. to bedok town park. to sun plaza park. to pasir ris park. where we spent the night. i really enjoyed being there. the place was just great. the sea breeze. the night view. the stars. the company. it was real nice of somebody to lend me his sweater. i hugged it to sleep.as early as 3am in the morning we continued the challenge with water bombs and climbing the spider web. got the clue. back to school.we walked. but thank god for jani. he picked us up along the way. reached school and the challenge was kinda over. talking and more talking. lots more but the challenge was cut short due to some reasons.but the committee planned so much for us. not everything could be carried out. but we had fun. really appreciate them.came home and could finally take a long and good bath. got some rest. tired. but couldnt rest too much or else i wont be able to sleep tonight.went for a movie- big mama's house 2. funny.never call me on the phone when im asleep.gosh.