another side of me

Thursday, June 29, 2006

i spoilt a major surprise!

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

i love today.
its a lovely day.
school's out and i spent almost the whole day with baby.
smiles.

hope all ends well.

love you baby.

definitely not not not looking forward to tomorrow's training.
one word.
fitness.
bcos of that i dread going for training.
and i've never dreaded touch training.
until recently.
can a sprained thumb and a hurt ankle get me exempted?

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

i'll try not to get affected by your words.
bcos i never like times like that.
just know how much you mean to me.
love you baby.
lots.

tuesday is ben and jerry's day!
yummilicious.

Monday, June 26, 2006

first day of the new term.
it was alright.
lecture was cancelled.
got back papers.
saw the careperson.
ended school early.
had training.

training wasnt good.
cos we upset the coach.
no sense of urgency.
and im guilty of it.
but then we got punished for who knows what.
hundred push-ups and hundred sit-ups.
plus more.
cos we didnt meet our objective during game.
like out of the sudden.
everybody down hundred.
what?!

fitness was no better.
the other time i sat out cos i injured my ankle.
this time i joined the team.
run half the field in a given time.
each decreasing by ten seconds.
wasnt easy at all.
i reached back at our starting point on time for all except for the forty seconds time limit.
i couldnt take it anymore.
so tired and running outta saliva.
people who were not running didnt take initiative to make themselves useful by filling up the bottles.
but im glad i didnt step out and completed all the rounds.
i didnt wanna give myself that option.
cos i know i can do it physically.
its the mental part thats challenging.

my boyfriend came up to me after training and said ' one more reason why you're my girlfriend is bcos...'
just when i thought something nice and sweet was coming
he said ' you're as unfit as me'
i just blurted out ' i hate you'
haha.
but obviously i dont mean it.
cos i love him.
theres a fitness test coming up.
sigh sigh sigh.
i hate fitness.
and i hate running.

but i want so much to achieve something.
to get myself a place in the team.
i want it badly and i will fight for it.
working on my strengths and weaknesses.

love you baby.
lots lots lots.

gonna be an early night.
goodnight world.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

i ruined today like i always do.

i just wanna dream away til september ends.
cos theres nothing much i can look forward to anymore.

where did all the talk about going somewhere go to?

erasing my hopes.

Saturday, June 24, 2006

why did you hafta give me that option?
in my heart i was hoping real hard that i could see you today. that maybe you'll surprise me.
i would be selfish and ask you to do just that.
but i dont want you to sacrifice time after time for me.
it was difficult not to take that option.
and i didnt.
i want you to have your life.

and i regret not informing you what time i ended camp today.
so probably i could see you instead.
but too bad for me.
on my part i didnt do it soon enough.

i try to be understanding.
but i dont think you know or feel that.
cos i dont feel that you acknowledge my effort.
and many times my msges came outta good intentions and care.
but you just interprete them the wrong way like today.
it wasnt meant to be sarcastic.
i felt the worst the moment you spoke when i answered your call.
but you explained yourself.
so i'll just take it.
but pls dont do that again.
thanks for calling.
i really appreciate it.
dont doubt my feelings for you.
it hurts.

daddy walked in on me crying.

havent seen baby for three days already.
today's the fourth.
miss him badly.

Saturday, June 17, 2006

baby is finally back.
silly baby.
he wanted to surprise me on thursday after training.
but i had to spoil it by spotting him in the gym during break.
haha.

we had a lil surprise birthday party for luu after training.
i gave an excuse that i had forgotten to bring extra undies so i had to go home and change.
while steph lure her to my home.
when we opened the door. we shouted surprise and had the cake with lit candles there.
but guess who was at the door.
steph.
it was hilarious.
but luu did get a shock bcos of the volume.
funny.

and baby was at the side.
i didnt see him.
until luu asked me to go out.
hes so sweet.
he came back after dinner with the guys to spend time with me.
even though he was very tired.
i appreciate that alot baby.
but but but.
something had to happen.
thanks for everthing still.
im real blessed to have you.

im just glad that baby is back.
and hes not going anywhere anytime soon.
not without me.
hee.

love you.

mummy will be back today!

Thursday, June 15, 2006

finally.
baby will be back today.
really hope to hear from him soon.
a call.
or even a msg.
to know that he has safely arrived back in singapore.
i wont get to see him today.
and not anytime soon.
boo.
i wanna see him so badly.

i'll just forget about last night.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

so i had plans today.
yeah.
class gathering of only eight people.
went to joyner's place.
the girls watched vcd while the guys played mahjong.
and then the girls started camera whoring.
it was fun.
we took so many pictures.
just the four of us.
so today was good.
but tomorrow will be better.
smiles.

baby msged me too.
but just to ask about some stuff.
im still glad to hear from him.
and know that he's fine.

love him.
miss him lots.

yesterday passed very fast.
cos i had luu for company!
meet her for lunch and were supposed to gym at one.
but we chatted over lunch while waiting for lil steph.
and ended up moving our butts outta the seats at one thirty.
we decided to play badminton and then table tennis.
badminton for an hour.
both of us were of equal standards so not that bad.
haha.
but we were wondering why they didnt turn on the fans.
haha.
cos it was badminton.
thats why.
then came table tennis.
it was hilarious.
we ended up picking up the pingpong ball more than we played pingpong.
and luu was obviously possessed by lee jia wei.
hahaha.
that she kept on hitting so hard.
so i caught most of the balls with my hand instead of hitting it with the table tennis whatever you call that thing.
when im supposed to be the one with the potential.
luu concluded that i was 'too good' to play with her so we ended our game of table tennis.
i laughed til my tummy ached.
we kinda played table tennis for only about twenty minutes.
then off to the gym.

then came shower time.
the water was so damn pathetic.
half way through my shower luu decided to migrate to the other shower room.
so got dressed back in my dirty clothes and migrated.
but the water supply there was worse.
we had to make do with it.
how pathetic.
we still planned to take a good long shower.
after we were done we walked outta the shower room only to notice a paper pasted on the door.
it says:

low water pressure

water tank problem.
sorry for the inconvenience.
efm

like they pasted it kinda too late.
that two pathetic souls had to suffer in the shower.

off to parkway.
they didnt have my pumps there!
boo.
then dinner with luu and baldwin.
and walked around alil after that.
home.

im just glad i had luu as company yesterday.
made it so much easier to pass the day without baby.
thanks luu!

today.
i've got no friends available to accompany me.
mab and jiemin has projects.
chris has school.
bla bla bla.
so i dont know what i'll do to kill time.
cant wait for today to end cos tomorrow baby will be back!!!

i cant wait.
cant wait to see him.
and hug him.
and plant kisses on him.

but i dont even know if i'll get to see him tomorrow.
i dont know if i wanna go to the airport.
cos i want him to go back with his parents.
go home and rest.
and i've got training.
and alil something something going on.
boo.
i dont know.
but i desperately wanna see him.
and spend time with him.

he didnt msg yesterday.
boo.
i waited by my phone all night til i fell asleep.
i wanted to wait til midnight then go sleep after that cos i was tired.
but i dosed off instead.
woke up in the middle of the night.
i was so glad to see i had one new msg.
but it wasnt him.
oh well.

im sucha lovesick puppy.

Monday, June 12, 2006

woke up at five plus yesterday morning.
to send mummy off to taiwan.
i could have gone with her.
crap.
now im stranded in singapore with no where to go.
sigh.
then it was home and then shopping with the girlfriends.
met chris first then mab came to join us later.
stupid mab.
still as gullible.
i lied to her that chris stood me up and she believed.
so dumb.
haha. i even paused for awhile before i went into drama mode and complained about how chris stood me up and refuse to answer my calls. hahaha.
so funny.
maybe i just sounded too convincing.

so shopped around and there was a change of plans.
change of venue for dinner and shopping.
i didnt get anything i planned to get.
i desperately need shoes!!!
i was bored.
haha.
for the first time bored on a shopping trip.

then back to tampines for dinner with baby.
four of us.
baby and my girlfriends and i.
it was hilarious.
had sucha great time talking about those good old days.
and im sure baby was amused and very much entertained.
mab kept forcing baby to talk.
and i had to let out a secret that only mab chris and i knew.
crap man.
like seriously.

heres what happened.
initial plan:
meet up with mab and chris.
head down to the airport to give baby a surprise send off.
(cos i didnt wanna go by myself)
on arrival. i would give baby a call to say i wont be sending him off and sound all apologetic after all hes done. say my goodbyes.
and then surprise him.

but but but.
chris talked about it over dinner.
chris: what time must i leave if i hafta reach bugis at ten and walk...bla bla bla.
discussion went on.
baby helped to count thinking she was going to school from tanjong pagar.
me: bla bla bla...the train take very long at the airport there.
i paused for awhile.
it took me a second or two to realise what i had just said.
i burst into laughter and sobs.
cos i spoilt the damn surprise.
chris tried to cover it up by saying her parents are going to london.
haha.
thanks for trying.
baby was clueless until he saw the way i reacted.
sigh.
something i planned and ruined.

so this morning i gotta spend time with baby before he flew off to bangkok.
it didnt turn out the way i wanted it to be.
or should i say the way both of us wanted it to be.
but i hope it didnt affect him too much. and he'll still enjoy himself there.
take a break from everything here in singapore. and me.
im missing him already.
four days suddenly seem so long when the months have been flying past.
im kinda dreading it.
i cant wait til he comes back.
sigh.
today alone seems so draggy cos he aint around.
but at least theres something i can look forward to later.
training.
and at least i can be occupied for that few hours and put my mind off from missing him.
and theres gym tomorrow to make time pass faster.
four days.
four days.
four days.
its like pay back for the time i left him for five days.

call me lovesick for all i care.
cos thats what i am right now.

thanks mab!
for making the effort to accompany me.
love you.

Saturday, June 10, 2006

term tests are over!!
well..there maybe a few fails.
cos i gave up on aap.
the rest are rather risky too.
haha.
so i cant go anywhere i wanna go anymore.
but i think this is the first term test that i really studied for.
cos the previous times lorencia and i wouldnt even bother.
haha.
im kinda looking forward to getting my results back.

my term break officially started yesterday.
so i went shopping!
with baby.
i sure enjoyed myself.
and i didnt get anything.
baby too.
my puma jacket is gone!
who sadder?
haha.
maybe im just saving up for sunday.
shopping with my girlfriends.
i do have lots in mind.
stuff i wanna get.
hee.
banana crumble was yummylicious.

i better enjoy as much as i can.
cos its only gonna be two weeks before school reopens.
and im gonna be busy studying.
cos no more supps for me.
i hope i do what i say.
and not procrastinate.
so.
for the first week im gonna be busy missing somebody.
some stay overs perhaps?
theres camp on the second week.
shopping and more shopping.
planning to gym too.
and trainings are gonna start.
yeah.
i miss the mud and playing with my teammates of course.

today.
gonna slack at home watching dvds.
looking forward to later.

love my baby lots.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

the previous post is posted by my boyfriend himself!
haha.
silly.
no baby.
you dont suck alright.
i love you just the way you are.

so.
lets talk about wednesday.
i watched a dog and cat being dissected right in front of me.
oh my gosh.
its so freaky.
both happened to be black.
and they were put down just that morning.
so sad.
the dog was a female.
and shes pregnant.
had seven babies in her uterus.
thats sadder.
the cat was a male.
but our lab instructor castrated it.
took out its testes.
man.
its really sad to see my beloved animals being cut open like that.
no way was i even near touching their insides.
they were cut right up to the neck.
we could see everything inside.
people were cruel enough to still take pictures.
it was bloody.
and stink too.
i almost puked.
almost lost all appetite for meat. and even food.
i'll never forget that day.

i've been to the gym for two consecutive days with luu.
feel more toned now. hee.
but lots more to work on.
havent started studying for term tests yet.
although i actually planned to. but nothing has started.
oh well.
at least im not feeling stressed.

lalalalala.

i love baby.
and no.
i will not leave you for any other guy until the day you stop loving me.
and i hope that day never comes.

good night world.