another side of me

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

went for my appointment today.
the doctor had to look into my ear with a bigger microscope than the one he was using.
and he used something to try sucking stuff outta my ear.
it hurt at one point of time.
i didnt know what was going on cos i couldnt see.
it was scary.
the doctor was like 'wah. you really dont feel any pain?'
i told him it hurt just now.
whats with wah?
he went out.
i thought he went to inspect and clarify the 'specimen'.
but when he came into the room with another doctor i was freaking out inside.
like whats going on?
isit that serious?
okay.
so its fungal infection.
they had to discuss to confirm its fungal.

went for a hearing test.
quite interesting.
first was something the audio examiner put into my ear.
i didnt hafta do anything.
it was something like ultrasound where theres something then you wait for the signal to come back to the device. dont know how to explain. but you should get the idea.
then the second part of the test i had to press on a button whenever i hear a tone from the headphones.
the tone was of different frequencies and volumes.
and since my right ear was fine she tested further on my left ear.
she put some device at the back of my left ear.
and on the right headphone was some background noises.
on the left headphone which wasnt even on my ear but on the side was similar tones.
i had to do the same thing-press the button whenever i hear a tone.
that was something i dont mind going through.
what i really mind is the later part.
read on.

so the reason for my hearing loss.
i hate to say it.
but ya.
hearing loss.
is caused by retention of water in my middle ear.
the fungal is minimal and its not the cause of the blockage.

the doctor did a nasoendoscopy on me.
a flexible scope examination.
to check for any blockage behind my nasal passage.
cos its connected to the ear bla bla bla.
i was freaking out.
my heart was beating faster and faster.
i was really really scared.
i didnt like the sound of it at all.
cos i kinda knew what it involves.
i was so glad that baby was with me seriously.
he sure gave me some assurance.
and him being by my side made a huge huge difference.
the doctor sprayed some kinda bitter thing up my nose.
crap.
yucks.
he told me i could swallow it.
but i didnt want to.
its so yucky.
and so he stuck the tube which was a camera into my nose and moved it deeper.
i had to breathe through my nose at all times.
like what the hell.
first into the left nostril then into the right.
it had some kinda fluid on it.
on the left.
he moved it deep in.
deeper.
pulled it out alil.
and in deeper again.it was nerve-wrecking alright!
i held baby's hand and squeezed it harder each time the tube went in deeper.
i had to keep my head straight.
couldnt even lean on the head rest.
i had to say 'e'.
i was like 'e!'
like hurry up. get it done and over with.
the fucking tube still in my nose.
i swear i hated the doctor.
he didnt even know how to say some comforting words cos it was so obvious i was scared.
the right nostril was much faster.
it was so uncomfortable!
phew.
when it was over i had something stuck in my throat.
not exactly throat. but almost there but higher.
i puked right after my escape from the room.
i was so glad to be out.
puking didnt help.
the thing was still there.
it only got better after some time.
i never want another of such experience.
never ever.
it sucks!
it really really does!
i hate nasoendoscopy!
i must say im a brave girl.
i couldnt have gone through it without baby.
i've always been a healthy person.
never have i had to visit the hospital.
but i've gotta go back there in two weeks time.
i hope i dont hafta go through another nasoendoscopy.
this is one experience i wish i never had.
and really really wish would never happen again.
to those who went through the same thing or worse- had a tube down the throat.
i know how you feel!
we're all victims!!

things i went through today:
pure tone audiogram.
tympanometry.
microinspection.
flexible scope examination.

im given antibiotics and a nose drop and a ear drop.
and hafta perform this thing four to five times a day.
the pressing of my nose and blowing out towards it.
theres a name for it. which i forgot.

so much i had to go through and still my ear is blocked.
life.
nothing is easy.
what a day i must say.

thanks luu!
you're very much appreciated.

and a big thanks to baby.
cos i dont know how i would have gone through it without you.
love you to bits.

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