another side of me

Sunday, May 20, 2007

smu touch yesterday.
never have i been so unprepared for a game.
our game was at eight but we arrived at 750am.
and it had to be against our toughest opponent in our pool-nus.
bad game.
both our teams lost in the fight to procede to the finals.
my team played sp and it was a really really close fight.
0-0 led to sudden death.
from 5 players to 4.
then the try happened.

i dont blame anyone for that try.
it had to happen.
either us or them and it just happen to be theirs.
we played our hearts out thats for sure.

the want
the desire
the expectations.
i just didnt wanna hafta disappoint.
i hardly cry after a lost game.
but yesterday i did.
for awhile i was numb
until i went to talk to yam and she cried
it reminded me of how i really felt on the inside and those tears just came.

i miss those days with the pol ite team
when i could just be on the field and play along.
do my thing without pressure.
but now i feel sucha huge responsibility to do something on the field.
and yesterday
i felt i wanted to do so much more.
but i couldnt.
and then i thought about how much i wanted to be one of those playing sudden death.
the ones with the ability to.
and now i got that.
its scary to have the team's fate in the hands of your team mates and you cant do anything but watch from the side line.
but you trust that they will do well.
but its even scarier to have it in your hands and you gotta really give it all so as not to let your team mates down.
they have brought the team so far.
the rest is in the hands of those on the field.

thanks to those who cared.
thanks dee.
she said: "you're letting nicole down"
that really woke me up.
cos i thought to myself that she needs my help.
i cant breakdown like that
what about the rest of the team.
we needa be strong for each other.

im so looking towards pol ite 2007.

after smu touch
haha and i went down to police academy for steph's virgin contact game.
her no. 1 fans.
she did so well.
despite of how lost she felt in the game
she looked like she knew what she was doing and what she needed to do.
shes got potential.

haha and i headed to bugis for alil shopping after that.
vie said weird combination
but i say fun.
i had a great time and a break from all the emotions earlier.

boy was i drained of all my energy.
i just plopped into bed and fell fast asleep.